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Weapon of Masked Destruction:
Divine Divorcee

by Nick C. Piers

After a long day of playing outside, lunchtime, naptime and more playing, I’m exhausted. The kids are sitting quietly on the floor in front of the TV and watching Transformers. After the attempted invasion by the Androidians five years ago (before I discovered my powers), giant robots just aren’t entertaining to me, anymore. These kids probably barely remember the invasion, if at all.

The usual routine is for the kids to watch TV at the end of the day in one of the rooms downstairs when the parents come to pick them up. I’m sitting in a chair, watching the kids as the parents start piling in to take their kid for the night. I find it funny to watch the kids excitedly poke their heads up and to the left when they hear the door open. It’s like a bunch of little gophers poking their heads out of a gopher hole.

There’s only about half a dozen of the ankle biters left when my favourite parents walks through the door: Susan Gwenfair, otherwise known to the world as Arcana. Her five year old daughter, Alaya, hops off the floor and runs to her mother’s arms.

“Hi sweetheart, did you have a good day today?” she asks Alaya while looking me in the eye. I take that as a cue to climb out of my chair and go over to meet her.

“It was really cool, mom! Zach was showing us how to paint with this really pretty glitter stuff!”

“Did he, now?” Susan says with a raised eyebrow.

“Uh huh! But I can’t take it home ’til tomorrow ’cause it’s not dry yet.”

“Well, I can’t wait to see it! Now, go get your coat, honey.”

“Kay!”

Alaya darts down the hall. I have to shout to her not to run and she slows right down. Susan nods her head to the side, indicating us to go outside to talk. I figure she wants to talk shop.

Susan’s one of the few people that knows about my alter-ego and I welcome it. Her identity is rather public since the kind of trouble she gets is usually mystical in nature. It’s funny how she discovered my identity. I was changing into my civilian clothes in the bushes when she was dropping Alaya off one morning, a few months ago. Her mystical senses picked up someone in the bushes and clocked me before checking to see who it was. She was apologizing for weeks after that.

Susan stuffs her hands into her jean pockets as she walks down the steps. “I saw you on the news this morning. You did well.”

“Really? I was mentioned on the news? I was too busy getting across the river to listen.”

“Well, not you. My ex-husband got all the press, of course, but he would never go out of his way to save those two people in the office.”

“For a guy called Humanity Man, he’s awfully selfish,” I grumble, remembering the ovation he received this morning. For a moment, it seems like Susan is going to chuckle. She glances at me for a moment with that kind of look that says “not like you” but quickly turns serious again.

Susan caught her ex cheating on her about a year ago, though she never told me who he cheated on her with. The divorce wasn’t pretty but at least she got full custody of Alaya. Humanity Man’s civilian identity didn’t have much pull in the courts unlike it would if he showed up all impressive-like in his cape and tights. Despite her dangerous line of work, Susan was more honest with the courts with her public identity. Her ex-husband didn’t have that trust to out himself as Humanity Man. I can’t imagine what it would be like to work beside a jerk like that when they’re both card carrying members of the Shatterpack. Still, I remember Susan saying it was more comfortable to bring Alaya to team meetings at the Sky Fortress rather than have to take him to their old home in the suburbs of St. Mignola.

Before we get a chance to talk more of ex’s, Alaya bounces out the door and hops down the steps, meeting us at the bottom. She looks between Susan and I, waves bye to me with a smile and skips over to the car. She always was a smart girl. Susan and I wait until Alaya closes the car door before continuing our conversation.

“Did you hear about Arthur?” she asks me with a heavy heart.

“Yeah, I caught it on the radio just as I was coming in this morning. Natural causes?”

“That’s what the police said but I’m not so sure.”

“Susan, he may have been one of the greats but he wasn’t getting any younger.”

“I know. I guess it’s just a nagging feeling in the back of my mind, you know?” she asks.

“All too well,” I nod, knowingly. “Have you talked with the Coven about it?”

“Not yet, but we’ve been sending mystic messages back and forth all day. None of them have sensed anything, so it looks like it was just his time.” She sighed, brushing her long blonde hair out of her eyes. I swear, if I were just a little older…

“Any word on when the service is?” I ask, getting my mind out of the gutter.

“I think next week, but none of us were really close to him. I hear his son’s family live up in Canada, so I guess once they get here.” She walks closer to her car, digging into her purse for her car keys. “I wanted to pay my respects, but I guess it’s going to be a very private funeral.”

“Listen, do you want to do something about that nagging feeling?” I ask.

“Of course, but it’s not like we have any leads.”

“There’s the Vodka Room,” I say as she finally finds her keys.

Susan stops for a moment and looks at me. It’s like she’s looking into me and through me, as if she could find the secret of the universe in me. I can’t help but stare into her green eyes while she holds a moment in my blue eyes.

“The Veil told me once that the place is run by the Russian mafia,” she finally says, as if trying to scare me away.

“The Veil’s the paranoid type. You’re not scared of a few Communist supporters, are you?” I smirk when I say that.

“No, but it could be dangerous for a rookie like you. They could have some SPECs as body guards or something.”

“I’ve been at this for a good six months now, Susan…”

“That doesn’t make it any less dangerous, Zach,” she pauses again for a second. I’m almost expecting to hear “this is Shatterpack business” or some bull like that. Finally, she seems convinced I’m not going anywhere on the idea, “All right. I have a meeting with the Pack in a little while. I can leave Alaya with The Veil while I go out. He doesn’t mind babysitting, most times, especially if it’s for cape and cowl business. Do you want to meet there?”

“Sure. Say about eight?”

“Sounds good.” She points an accusing finger at me, “But don’t bring flowers or anything. This is a team-up, not a date. I’ve tried dating younger, college guys before and---”

“Hey, I’m doing this in the interest of the SPEC community. Tonight might get me in good with the Shatterpack.”

Guess she hasn’t forgotten that time I asked her out when she came to pick up Alaya once, I think to myself. Susan puts away her lethal finger and brushes her hair out of her face again.

“I’ve been telling them about you, actually,” she says as she opens up her car door and climbs in. She rolls down the window and starts the car.

“Oh yeah?” I cross my arms and lean onto the windowsill. “You think I have a chance?”

“We’ll see,” she smiles that endearing smile, “I mean, The Armadillo’s on the roster right now, so what does that tell you?”

“That your ex doesn’t want anyone stepping on his limelight?”

Susan cracks up and laughs the heartiest laugh I’ve ever seen her laugh. Alaya mimics her mother from the passenger seat, not even knowing what the joke is but just to join in on the fun. Finally, Susan wipes a tear after a few more chuckles and looks at me with a grin.

“You have no idea how true that is.”

I can hear her still chuckling as she pulls out of the driveway.

The Altruist: Weapon of Masked Destruction and all related characters are © and ™ 2006-2007 Nick C. Piers.
Metahuman Press is © and ™ 2005-2007 Nick Ahlhelm.